My parents were big fans of Tennessee because they were both born there, just as their own parents and grandparents were. I was born in the middle of the US in a state that no one ever really talks about. When my mother told me that my grandmother could no longer live alone, I volunteered to help out. Grandmother’s home was much too large for her to deal with anymore, but I knew there were plenty of Newport News VA apartments that I could live in with her and we would do just fine. Mom said she would mull it over for awhile and let me know. I love my grandmother dearly, so I was willing to do whatever necessary to make sure that she stayed safe.
I knew from my father’s side of the family that one of the elders needed help, but refused all help from the adult children who offered to step in. That person had dementia, and as it progressed, they ended up getting lost one day on a simple drive to the store. She was in a car accident, and she ended up in the hospital, as did the people in the other car that she hit. She then drove off in a daz and wasn’t found for about 10 hours later because she got lost. Everyone was up, and the frustrating thing is that help was ignored when it was offered. But what adult children didn’t realize is that their parent was no longer in a position of being able to say yes or no to help, and the kids should have stepped in anyway.
I wanted grandma not to go through getting lost or even accidentally burning her house down because of living on her own. Her home was so large that she struggled to keep it clean, and on many days, she didn’t even try. Items began to pile up around her home. That can be a health hazard and a fire hazard. I was willing to help her downsize and live in her own city if my mom thought it was a good idea.